My Natural Hair Journey: The Ugly Truth

Let me just start by saying, the struggle is MAD REAL and natural hair is NOT for the faint of heart.  Can I just be honest for a second?  Although there are moments that I truly love my hair, they are rare and far between.  Lately, they've been fleeting.  To be clear, I'm the "lazy natural" and very well aware of the damage that does to my hair.  As a result of my own habits, and lack thereof, the heat damage that I am now  voiding has been traded for dryness and breakage due to neglect.  When the pandemic began, I made a promise to myself that I would give my skin and hair some tender loving care.  I did just that...for a good three months.  Then life hit!  The reality of the pandemic set in, my involvement in the Black Lives Matter movement increased, birthdays rolled around, and stress was at an all time high.  My desire to do or even see my hair just diminished.  It feels like I just gave up on it overnight.  Now, as any self respecting natural would do, I'm saying goodbye to Lola (my fro's name) for a while, and saying "HELLO, Hey girl, missed you" to a much needed protective style. FAUX LOCS! I had to send Lola off on a high note though, so I treated, washed, conditioned, deep conditioned and moisturized her.  I even let her do her thing and styled her a bit.  

In the spirit of transparency, I still haven't reached the point of feeling sexy again with my natural tresses.  I know that's horrible to say.  It feels weak to even admit, but it's the truth and I doubt that I'm the only natural that feels or has ever felt this way.  I miss flipping my hair flirtatiously or shaking it when dancing.  I've always felt a bit sexier with my hair in my face, and because I'm not quite there with this length and thickness, I've been feeling a little discouraged lately. A lot discouraged lately.  I tend to just throw it in a puff, lay some baby hairs and avoid mirrors.

Also, everyone doesn't have perfectly dense hair! Going natural, with fine, type 4 tresses is not the same as thick, type...anything hair.  It's also very rare to find anyone with hair like mine, or struggles like my own, thus, there are very few solutions offered up.  Why?  Because we don't exactly have the hair that anyone wants, therefore there isn't a surplus of type 4, transitioning, low density, low porosity YouTubers or bloggers. Let's be real, social media presents very idealistic standards, which means there is almost nowhere to go to find these very rare hair problems.  So you confide in your natural friends, and to no fault of their own, they minimize the issue, and tell you it's the products or lend some generic advice and you're right back where you started.  Transitioning back to natural is a very personal process, so I understand to an extent, but it's definitely a lonely process.  I've personally lost confidence throughout my own transition, and really considered just going back to straightening my hair.  I mean, where is the motivation??? I don't feel sexy, I'm uncomfortable at work with all the attempted petting, I'm annoyed with my hair most days, I spend a ton of money on products, I have to carve out full days simply to do my hair...but somehow, the moments of success, no matter how rare and far between, make it worth it.  Those days I feel more like a queen than I ever have. End Rant.

Love your hair, no matter how difficult it is. And it will be difficult.

Sincerely,

Keeks

P.S. Are you beauties loving all of the 90's hair trends that are resurfacing?  What are some of your go-to protective styles?